My best friend

When I was in Junior High, I had a best friend. Her name was Jill. 

Looking back, she wasn't a very good friend. I realize that most of what we did together was stuff to benefit HER. I don't remember her going out of her way to make me feel good about myself. It was a bit of a one-sided relationship. The nail in the coffin was about 15 years ago. I had returned home from a vacation to Hawaii with my boyfriend, to a message on my answering machine from the local police letting me know I had a warrant out for my arrest. Jill had been pulled aside for riding the local transit system without a ticket and had memorized all of my personal information to give to the transit police. EVERYTHING. She didn't have I.D on her so they took her word that she was me. Her unpaid ticket and missed court appearance led to a warrant for MY arrest. Talk about being "thrown under the bus".  I attended court, and luckily our descriptions were different enough ( eye color) and she had spelled my middle name wrong, so I was able to avoid any further charges. It was an eye opener.

Several years later, I met a great guy. Let's call him Jeff. Jeff and I worked together and became fast friends. He introduced me to his then girlfriend, Jill. I instantly liked her. I realized the feeling was not mutual. I stumbled through my close friendship with him, while trying to ensure that she was always included. Then one day, she called me regarding business and we went for lunch. That is where she admitted to me that she had felt threatened by me. Apparently I looked liked Jeff's ex girlfriend and our fun friendship made her uncomfortable ( Jeff and I are in sales and were often out golfing, partying and schmoozing while Jill was still in school, and feeling like a wall flower) After that lunch meeting, a beautiful friendship blossomed.

This Jill was much different than the Jill from grades 7-9. This Jill went out of her way to make everyone around her feel amazingly special. Our bond grew and our friendship outpaced the one I had with her boyfriend, Jeff.

She was an instrumental force in the preparation for my wedding. She stayed the night with me at the hotel the night before...we had a great time. She made sure that my wedding day went off without a hitch. She was not in my wedding party but took responsibility as if she was. She is THAT unselfish. My father in law, who met her once, on my wedding day, asks about her every time I see him, some 6 years later. She is unforgettable. She is amazing. 

She shattered my heart into a million pieces when she and Jeff announced they were moving back home, to Vancouver, several years ago. Since then, she and Jeff have had 3 GORGEOUS little boys. They have a mixture of both Jill and Jeff's beautiful features.....including luscious long eyelashes and amazing personalities. I look upon those children as my own blood. I love them so much. The last 2 times I was in Vancouver, they left me in tears as they grabbed my arms and begged me not to leave. These children are the result of the love of 2 people I love almost more than myself.

I always tear up when I think of my "Jilly". She is the most amazing creature on this planet. I have watched her rise up like a lotus flower out of the mud to show us all who she is. I have watched her shrink away in order to let Jeff shine while she tended to her "sheep".  She is a wonderful mother and amazing wife. 

I love my friend like she was my sister. Whenever I tell anyone about her, my eyes well up with tears. Sometimes they are tears of pride. I am so proud of her. She is amazing. Other times, they tear up with sadness. I so want her to come back out and "play" with the rest of us. She spends her days at home with these 3 little souls, while putting herself on the backburner, always. Often , my eyes well with tears of frustration. I wish I could be there just 1 day a week to grab those little munchins of hers and play "Thomas the Train" with them so Mom could go to the gym or for a coffee. I also wish she could see how great, wonderful and powerful she is. 

I called her tonight just to tell her how much I love her. I am SO lucky to have her as a friend. I wish everyone could know my Jill. She is one of the best human beings I have ever met.

I hope that everyone has a Jill in their life. You don't need a lot of friends, but I think everyone needs ONE good friend. I am so lucky that I do.