Where the Hell Did I Come From?

I am so screwed up I am actually right side up!

My parents got divorced when I was 5.

I remember 2 things about that day; standing in the doorway while my Dad knelt on one knee to tell me, the other is the Raggedy Ann doll that I had dragged down the street, getting her face filthy and unrecognizable. I am not sure why I remember her (she wasn't there that day) but those are the 2 things I see when I remember that moment.

I don't remember being sad.

My parents are AMAZING. They have demonstrated that you can fall out of love with someone, yet still love them completely.

My Mom never legally remarried but has been with her life partner for 26 years. My dad remarried( giving me a brother from his 2nd marriage). My dad sat beside my Mom at my wedding and held her hand. We all had a beautiful dinner together a few weekends ago.

So, because of them, deep down, and even on the surface, I radiate love. I love to share with others ( intangible things, like my knowledge or success....never my clothes or CD's or books...it's an "only child" thing). I love to promote people who I think are amazing and deserving. I love to create and spin energy to get positive results for me and those I care about.

I do have demons. They pick away at my soul. Slowly I am gathering the tools to manage them. I don't want to obliterate them...just manage them. Without these little bastards, I would be a bump on the couch...never wanting, desiring, learning or loving. They are the reason I am successful in my life. They are also the reason I am never satisfied....I want more. Always.

I wish everyone I know could know my Mom. She is the person I strive to be like.

Impossible shoes to fill.

But, I love a challenge.