My husband just got off the phone with a mutual friend.
One of their friends took his own life this week. With 2 mortgage payments, a truck payment, and a wife who just got laid off, he felt it was his right to take himself out of the picture. He also left behind a son and daughter.
My heart aches. I feel so horrible for his wife and children. How does this make their lives better? My heart aches only a little for him. I will never understand what compelled him to decide that was the best solution. I am always saddened when someone feels THAT bad. But right now, I am a bubbling body of rage. I am so angry at the cowardice he displayed by making that choice. He had no right to do that, to himself, or anyone else.
I am fortunate that I have never had any one that I know commit suicide. In high school there was one very popular senior who took his life. Turns out he wasn't as happy as he appeared to be. I wish that there had been a way for him to look past his current troubles. I also think that more programs should be put in place to help people overcome the shame they may feel at such a low point in their lives.
I don't profess to be perfect, but I am blessed with a mother who always showed me that she could overcome any obstacle, and we had many.
My motto has been, for the past several years, "Every challenge has a solution". And it's true. Some solutions are hard to execute, but there is an answer. Confide in someone you trust, brainstorm, have faith. "This too shall pass".
We all need to help each other out in these times.
We really ALL are in this TOGETHER.
January 23, 2009
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5 Comments:
That was brilliant. I feel all of that. Having looked into the darkness myself, I know there are better ways to address problems. And then you want so much to end other peoples' sufferings, because you know they can benefit from your empathy and expereince.
wow i felt that post
I've been to the other side as I was terribly suicidal from age 15 on. In no way do I want to be involved in helping others get through that pain (I tend to pull away from that kind of energy).
I'm stuck between two things... while I share your anger about leaving a wife and two children with all of those financial worries and the forever questions (like, "Why wasn't I good enough to make him stay?") I have always felt that when a person reaches that point in life, they should be legally allowed to go.
I know.. contradicts the anger towards someone who leaves a family. I wish he'd have tried to get help first. I cannot even imagine my husband leaving me with 4 kids, no job and our bills. I would never forgive him.
Ultimately, I believe in a human's right to die when they wish to die. I just wish there was never a family man who decided to leave his family like that.
I am very glad you decided to stick around, G.
Big Sugary Hugs,
S
Oh, it's no big now. Lifetime ago as a screwed up teen.
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